A New Year ....

It’s only a few days away now …
And this time I’m not counting the days for it, having my usual optimistic rosy glasses on.
Somehow I have the feeling 2008 won’t be anything but another disappointment…

These days this phrase from “ Ann of Green Gables “ is always echoing in my head :
“ My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes …. “

Maybe coz, with every new year’s eve. I used to pray to God at midnight to make it a better one ..
I always expected that in some magical way all my hopes will come to life in the approaching year ..
I would be in a better mood ... I would put more serious effort into my postgraduate studies ........ I would meet my significant other , the real thing .. the Prince not another frog …

The new year always disappointed me .. yet I always waited for the one to come with high hopes …


And maybe coz it’s the first time without Mama … just as I didn’t feel the joy of this Ramadan or the two feasts …
life simply just lost its taste ...
Nothing seems enjoyable anymore.........

Almost seven months now ….
I still can’t say her name without tears …
I’m still unable to add the word “ was ..” when I talk about her ..

2007 took away my comfort , gave me the deepest pain and the greatest sorrow of my whole life ..
I pray for 2008 to have the power to ease it ..... just a little bit.

Years go by ....

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that counts. It's the life in your years....