I miss you .....

When I think of all the times I was too busy with my little silly things to give you enough attention .. Just because I always thought we still have all the time in the world together..

I never thought the day would come when I wake up or come home and you’re not there ….
Or need to talk to you and you’re not able to listen anymore..
Break my good news to you, so you can give me your smile and prayers of all the happiness .. Or when I come home sad or mad and complaining and you comfort me with your great words and spirit ..

I can’t imagine that you won’t be there to witness my breakthroughs that you have always dreamt of ..

How stupid was I to miss all the time I could’ve spent with you, the million things I planned to ask and learn from you that I kept postponing coz I always thought we’ll have plenty of time later on ..

How cruel was I to just keep fidgeting around when you talk about your little daily events or old days memories and I’m just thinking “ that’s boring!! “

Now when I look back and think of all the things you did for me, all the rest you gave up so I can get mine, all the pretty things you made for just a smile from me .. a smile that I usually gave you with a “ but …. “
All the good you denied yourself to give me the very best of everything …

When I remember all that I can’t stop my running tears, and I can only pray to God to make it up to you and reward you with heaven and everlasting happiness, the happiness that I don’t know anyone who deserves it more than you do…

Mommy, I really miss you ……
I am sorry for everything, for everytime I made you sad or worried or was just too stuborn to understand that you only wanted the best for me ..

And I’m sorry to tell you that I’m no longer that strong person you were so proud of, I discovered that I was only powerful coz I had you .. Now I turned back into that little helpless baby you once took care of, but this time you’re not here for me ……